Title text: Dr. Petroff has also shown that the Higgs boson signal was actually sparks from someone microwaving grapes, the EHT black hole photo was a frozen bagel someone left in too long, and the LIGO detection was just someone slamming the microwave door too hard.
One last thing on the agenda: clean out the energetic stellar-sized astrophysical object in the break room if your lunch ends up splattering all over the inside, please. Don't leave your mess for somebody else